Monday, January 30, 2006

One King Is Six Blind Men


The King Understands The Insurgency

"What is their bottom line?" he demanded to know. "Did they not hear the thud when communism collapsed all over the world at the turn of the century? These people are in a time warp. They will feel the pain."

And human rights abuses shot up. He claimed it was because his soldiers were not trained well enough in human rights issues. He demanded aid.

People were disappeared, they were killed, all such were labelled rebels. The bodycount went up. As long as all that happened in little villages, he felt safe.

The King Understands Democracy

"Go arrest about 200 hoodlums, and this so-called movement will die on its own," he proclaimed.

If the west lectured him on democracy, it was because those people were racist. If India lectured, it was a Big Brother, more the fodder for nationalism. If the political parties lectured, what do they know about democracy!

They do not understand corruption, they do not understand the insurgency, they do not understand law and order. They sure don't understand democracy.

"Elections are democracy! And I have promised not one but two of them."

The King Understands Nepal

"I want the people to be able to eat two square meals a day, and I want them to be able to sleep in peace," he said at the end of a meal that was helicoptered to him from a five star hotel in Kathmandu when he was out on a visit to the remote districts to feel the pain of the people long neglected by the political parties.

The King Understands India

"Have you heard of China?" he asked the Indian Prime Minister in a private meeting. "We will build roads, and bridges, and tunnels and information highways through the Himalayas. Beijing will be at our doorsteps. They say Shanghai has overtaken New York City anyway."

He got invited to a Chinese event. He went with much fanfare. Noone bothered to tell him the invitation was routine. The Chinese just don't care one way or the other.

The King Understands Africa And Mandela

"Look at all those African dictators!" he thundered. "How come noone bothers them? Some of them have been in power longer than Mandela was in jail." He sent a birthday card to one of them just to stress the point.

He wanted to feel Mandela's pain. So he commandeered a Royal Nepal Airlines plane and flew.

"He must be getting old," he said when Mandela refused to meet him. He was being respectful.

The King Understands Bush

"Give me one chance, I will outdo Musharraf!" he sent a telepathic message to Bush right before the 2/1 coup. "These Maoists are not only terrorists, they are also Cold War warriors. Through me you get to fight both the Cold War and the War On Terror. Can you have it any better?"

He did not understand why he was put on a short list of dictators, not to be met, by the Bush White House for his proposed visit to the UN. He was so offended he cancelled his visit. That will teach Bush a lesson.


The Blind Men and the Elephant

John Godfrey Saxe's ( 1816-1887) version of the famous Indian legend,

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk
Cried, "Ho! what have we here,
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me `tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up he spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee:
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope.
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

Moral:

So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

  1. Video Nepal police open fire on protesters Reuters Video - Jan 26 3:01 PM
  2. Video Protests in Nepal CNN - Jan 23 5:23 AM
  3. Video Protesters battle police in Nepal Reuters Video - Jan 21 6:28 AM

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